extravagance

extravagant - exceeding the bounds of something; extreme; exorbitant

i think i'm addicted to extravagance.
i love to be overwhelmed, especially with beauty. i think it's the most fulfilling thing in the world. when i am enamored by a painting or with God's love for me, my heart stops.
i love to be free. i hate feeling restrained. i hate having bounds. i hate rules. but not living according to the rules is extremely lonely unless you find that one someone that just might feel the same way. i think i found some people that do. very little, but they are all i will ever need <3
i don't like normalcy. i think normalcy is overrated. at the same time, normalcy is comfortable. i don't know what i would want, actually-- normalcy or loneliness. hm.
i like when things have character--a smartness to them. wit. i highly enjoy wit. i think wit is absolutely fabulous.
i like when things are not in order. i feel intimidated when things are in order. i feel like even more of a misfit than i actually am. makes me uncomfortable.
i like when things are sparkly, soft, suede, slick, spotty, stripey, spicy, sweet, sour, sappy, and too soon.
or things that are especially bright, or well done.
at the same time, i don't think extravagance necessarily has to be expensive.
what do i consider extravagant...
the last piece of the decadent chocolate cake.
waking up to sweetly chirping birds.
the mini kitkat bar after a long day.
a smile that greets you at the door.
pandora!

when two souls connect.

you know, those times when your heart GLOWS. <- that, in no way, is normal. that is exceeding the bounds of what this world can offer. it is most definitely extravagant. i hope i never forget that.

<3