my soul

only feels at peace surrounded by words.
words can make or break a person, but there's no face.
you don't see the world in someone's eyes--a world of regret, a world of beauty, a world of sadness, a world full of pain.
you don't see the crook in someone's nose. the distinction someone carries when they have conquered the world, or the direction it takes when the world burdens heavily on their shoulders.
you don't see the smile, the frown. the coffee-stained teeth, full of late night struggles. the cracking lips of too much sun and laughter.
you don't see the ears, the ears that search for world peace.
you don't see the skin-- the rough patches of rough years or the smoothness of youth.
words are words.
they carry the world, but are not of it.
they are just enough to tide you over, but they feel comfortable. there is a security in words. they cannot hit you like a rushing train or an angry gust of wind.
words are words.
books can't cry, books can't hug you to sleep.
yet there is a still power in words.

'tis the summer?

FUCK TWENTY PAGE PAPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

at least there is ella, ella, ella fitzgerald ~~ <3 <3

Tx is shorthand for Therapy.

I am currently enrolled in a group therapy class that has tremendously impacted my life.
Last night we were asked to write our last words. It could have been to anyone about anything.
I wrote a letter of justification--justification for who I am.
In my last words I had to explain who I am.
Thinking about that concept rattles me. Of course you are who you are, right? What a waste of paper! Am I living a lie? ... are a few thoughts that come to mind.
But being who I am hurts me sometimes. Sometimes I'm seen as selfish, ungrateful, immature, etc. when I'm really just insecure, ignorant, or scared. I wish to see deeper into everyone, but I am not given the same courteousness. 
I am forever grateful for those that love me for me. For those that try to change me, I wonder why I make you that uncomfortable.

Anyway. I cried. It was embarrassing. Then I went home to live in the vicious cycle all over again.

"everything happens for a reason"

is a hard pill to swallow.

patience is a virtue?

still waiting for that 'you.'

obsession O_O

sometimes,

people clutter their mind with useless facts and information.
i clutter my heart with useless people and passions.

the world undone.

i know some of you know this, but ...

i will be here from the end of july to early/mid august. i'm making my dreams come true and traveling the world! Thank you, Jesus!