growing up

i hate the idea of growing up.
growing up requires growing responsibilities, growing stress, and growing ... growing.
the idea of physically growing has escaped me yet the ever-gnawing 'i've got to grow up' in my mind has been gnawing at me for quite some time.
i don't know why i have this obsession with growing up.
for anyone that knows me, they know i say weird things, make foolish decisions and am very reckless with my time and money.
i know that everyone's life, experiences, etc. are different... somehow, though, i have this faint notion that i will appreciate everything i go through once i've fully matured, grown up.
i always reflect back on who i am and am not very happy.
i like lists. here is a list that i'm not so proud of-
- i'm very temperamental. moody.
- believe my opinions to be fact.
- extremely impatient.
- always expect perfection.
- lazyyy.
- confused.
- judgmental.
- unforgiving of stupidity.
- oh and the list goes on.
i know that nobody can reach perfection, but i wish to get close.