of course i would blog at the most inappropriate time--

i'm about to be caught up in a tornado...
i am so not ready, but the only thing i have been thinking about has nothing to do with the fear creeping up my spine.
it has everything to do with childish insecurities, which should be quelled by an omnipotent God.
what do you do when Satan uses others to paint your face red?

---

i've also been thinking about the concept of choice.
if every action has a reaction, doesn't every reaction require an action? thus, every choice is not really a choice, now is it? if people are whirlwinds of genetics and their environments, do people really have a choice to "make" themselves?
where, then, does that leave us? as a slave to genetics, the environment, pleasure, and comfort, where do i stand?

---

i have an interview for a full-time gig as a case manager for the severely mentally ill. i feel like an outcast already; not quite sure if people understand (or care to understand) the light behind my eyes.
where will working with these people leave me? even more so?
am i on the fast track of quitting normalcy and embracing exquisite pain?
if yes, ... where does that leave me?
i do not want to be at a disconnect.
... but what choice do i have?
nothing great happened within the realms of normalcy.
let's see what i can pull out of my magician's hat.