domestic

several days ago, i went to a little baby niece's 100 day.
oh, god, it was so awkward.
i was at the celebration pre-parents so it was up to me to make introductions (the hosts were unavailable being, well, hosts).
i sat there awkwardly. i had my food awkwardly. it wasn't until half an hour passed by and people started talking to me.
after i went home, though, i wondered why i was so awkward.
it wasn't only the influx of strangers into what was familiar to me... it was the domestic nature of the whole thing.
about 90% of the visitors were couples with children.
don't get me wrong, i wish to be one of them someday, i think. i want the "perfect" marriage, children, a family in a cushy place like laguna... but i definitely am not there yet. haha.
i didn't know what to talk about, how to be.
diapers? children's toys? clothes? umm, no thank you.
when i was talked to, it was mainly because my cousin's husband was poking fun at my love for the phoenix suns. ... of course it was like being a lamb in a lion's den. all the dudes ate me up alive. O_O
anyway, i digress.
i know the domestic life isn't the life for me now, but i think i've come to terms of wanting some sort of it later on in the future. i think it'd be a rewarding challenge.
i wonder when that time will come.
i'm learning to embrace it, and that's a huge step for me.
i don't know what the point of this post was. i guess admitting the fact that i want to embrace my inner woman and someday be maternal would be a welcoming change for me?
i'm planning on taking cooking lessons this summer. and maybe do a brief stint in beauty school.
heheheheee.
i guess this means i'm growing up? gross.