the pursuit of happyness

i'm supposed to be writing a paper about 'change.'
how do YOU deal with change? what IS change to you?
i don't deal with change well. when something rocks my boat, i freak. i freak and immediately look for solutions. one would think this was healthy. ... but it's not.
experience has taught me that purely being in the midst of change can change you. fiercely looking for solutions may help. it mayn't. BUT. reflection on what is changing and how to adapt, i think, is very healthy. i lack the reflection part. i spring immediately into action. in most cases, this attribute is good. in cases such as change, not so much.
i'm ok with change. i just wish i knew how to handle it better.

the point of this blog post, though, was that when most people change, they change to be happy.
whether the change equates to clothes, personality, significant others, etc. the change is geared toward a positive outcome. however, due to the nature of human beings, positive outcomes are few and far between. we are a self-destructing race. if good things are happening, we are apprehensive. we feel like, maybe due to the cycle of life, the bad is going to come soon. therefore, it is highly unlikely that we will fully tap into that happiness. however, when shit happens... well, shit happens.

the point of my stream of conscious is that people change because they want good to happen in their lives. even if the change is to come to us, we make a decision beforehand that brings the change onto us. for example, i went to a party last night and met some friends. some changes might come about in my life because of the decision to go to one party.

decisions, decisions. collisions, collisions. amazing how life works. amazing how God works.

i write in a stream of conscious and it gets ugly. sorry. i'm going to save my little grey cells for my actual paper. ... which i soon hope to write. yayyy.